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One night, as a couple lay down for bed,
the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her
arm.
The wife turns over and says: "I'm
sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to
stay fresh."
The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over
and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear:
"Do you have a dentist appointment
tomorrow too?"
A dental surgery had been having an
unusually busy day, and ran out of local anaesthetic just before the last
extraction for the day was to be performed.
Keen to ensure that a far more painless
extraction from the patient's wallet would not be hindered, the dentist
gave the nurse a very large needle.
He instructed her to jab it firmly into
the patient in the end opposite to that from which the tooth was to be
extracted, when the signal was given.
It all happened in an instant. The
patient and pliers were in place. The signal was given, the needle driven
well home, and with a quick tug out came the tooth.
The dentist said, "Hurt much?"
The patient hesitated, "Didn't even
feel it come out... tell you what, though, the roots were sure in
deep!"
A guy goes to visit his grandmother and
he brings his friends with him. While he's talking to his grandmother, his
friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them
off. As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandmother, "Thanks
for the peanuts." She says, "Yeah, since I lost my dentures I
can only suck the chocolate off 'em."
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting
down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal,
and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the
hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her,
until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into
the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to
eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.The young
man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for
them so that they didn't have to split theirs. The old gentleman said,
"Oh no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been
and will always be shared, 50/50." The young man then asked the wife
if she was going to eat, and she replied... "Not yet...It's his turn
with the teeth!"
One day a man walks into a dentist's office
and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth.
"Eighty dollars," the dentist says.
"That's a ridiculous amount," the man says. "Isn't there a cheaper way?"
"Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an anaesthetic, I can knock
it down to $60."
"That's still too expensive," the man says.
"Okay," says the dentist. "If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the
teeth out with a pair of pliers, I could get away with charging $20."
"Nope," moans the man, "it's still too much."
"Hmm," says the dentist, scratching his head. "If I let one of my
students do it for the experience, I suppose I could charge you just
$10."
"Marvelous," says the man, "book my wife for next Tuesday !"
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